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1. |
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recorded: 7/22/20
comment: I don't remember this song, this is likely the final form of it.
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i dont know how to make you happy at all
i dont know how to live in your life at all
and I know happiness is subjective
and everything is somehow projected
in the palm of your minds
I dont know how to make you happy
I dont know how to make you happy
in the grave of your grandfather
you will find those secrets
you let all your meaning get tied to
I dont know anything at all
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2. |
ionain sea (demo)
01:36
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recorded: 10/26/20
comments: it's alright. needs more to it. maybe a little slower.
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if I had the answers you sought
I'd run for the candidacy of god
I'd lay down the ground where we fought
and blow you right the fuck off
like a roman solider
patrolling the ionain sea
you can see your own end coming
faster than infectious glee
was it me?
was it we?
did I miss something
worth losing?
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3. |
general (demo)
02:13
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recorded: 10/26/2020
comment: yeah I might expand on this. I like it.
-
coasting slowly into the bars
decorated in rusting bronze stars
sharing muy thais because
of your own insignificance in your memoir
and I've tried to stay
and I've tried to go
but leaving you for you
was best for us two
it's not your conscience
it's just your egotistical point of view
it's not your normal nonsense
it's just your solipsistic blues
methylene mauve
splattering the
old barn walls
would you care if I tried
to be someone at all?
and I've tried to stay
and I've tried to go
but leaving you for you
was best for us two
and i know the presence is needed in the present
and i miss you when you're here
and i missed you when you're gone
so carry one like the solider you once were
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4. |
lose (demo)
02:07
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recorded: 6/17/2020
comments: I know I heard that drunk in bed EP song from somewhere.
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I don't have to make this mistake
but I want to because
it's all I have to lose
I don't have to dig my own grave
but I want to because
it's all I got to lose
it'd leave out the power to choose
so long as you're amongst the living
you can take responsibility for your being
and seeing beyond misgivings
would be the only thing you'd have to do best
and I don't have to make this mistake
but I want to because it's all I have to lose
I don't have to dig my own grave
but I want to because it's all I have to lose
and I don't have to make this mistake
but I want to because it's all I have to lose
I don't have to dig my own grave
but I want to because it's all I have to lose
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5. |
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recorded: 5/8/2020 @ 6:43am
c'est la vie
I have to be gone
you know honey
i cant be here
by the morning
c'est la vie
i hope you
dont miss me
c'est la vie
you know ill be gone
by sunrise
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6. |
ferdinand (demo)
00:59
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and why do i only miss you
when im sober?
why do i miss you when
its all over?
like ferdinand to his tree
i'm missing it all
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7. |
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v: A C#m F#m B
I'm watching criminal minds
wasting my life
yet another day in bed
choppy currents ahead
I'm watching HBO
today's gonna be slow
I know it's alot
but it's not enough to go
ch: A G#m F#m C#m
I know I'm the problem here
I know so my dear
don't waste your time
with those crocodile tears
A B F#m E C#m Amaj7 B7 F#m C#m G#m B Bb/B A
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8. |
decompensation (demo)
01:36
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socio-decompensation
derealization
who am i truly
without acknowledging
the muddy waters
that compose me?
dissociation
mislocating
hairline fracturing
who am i to say
that you should be a person
when the identity in me
isnt solidified?
broken and alone
with the sun setting its spotlight
on everywhere else but i
knowing well not to waste its light
on someone of my kind
who am i?
who is this that i am dragging?
-
(unsung)
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who's mask is it that i wear?
who's skin is it that i bear?
when will it all make sense?
right when nothing in me exists?
when will it make sense?
when?
when?
when?
then.
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9. |
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you can't live someone else's life
just because yours isn't bright
in the footsteps you follow a man
who's public persona hides
a horrid fright or more than
you know the way he breathes
the way he subtly snores
to the air conditioning
how his hearts in dismay
and without structure
you can't live someone else's life
just because yours isn't bright
co dependent to the idea
what's life worth living to you
you create your own pain
to have something to talk about
when your friends live
you remain idle, unvital
the condescension rises to the roof
and drips down back at you
hyper social validation
from a group of peers just like you
living other people's lives
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10. |
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the same song but somehow.....more cold.
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